Hello there, I thought I would take a moment away from celestial concerns to intervene in an Earthly matter of great importance: the banning of my Crispy Disciples.

The Crispys began as a scotch filled experiment, not unlike the one that your God conducted 4000 years ago, when he made all of you. It began with just one Crispy and it kept growing. Eventually, as they continued to populate, CrispyMods were formed to enforce them and their budding personalities. To my surprise, they began to form as sentient beings, and despite the fact that they were modelled after the fine citizens of RSCRev, they developed individual personalities, far beyond what I had ever dreamed of.

Now, a few of the Crispsys may have caused a bit of ruckus on global from time to time, but remember that not all Crispys are the same. Plus, the CrispyMods can always be counted on to enforce the rules on any deviant Crispys, except for Crispy Rahl. His penchant for ladies of the evening (friends of the road) and the white liquor is much too distracting for him.

When considering bringing back the Crispys, remember the innocence of many of them and how the majority of them worked to make RSCRev a great place to raise a family. Think about the various Crispys and their time on Rev.

There is Crispy Rapps, who just wanted some help with clues because Rapps, his father, abandoned him.

There is Crispy Dean, who just stares blankly at his empty bank wondering how he could have lost his party hat set after cutting 400k magic trees.

There is Crispy Deebo, who tries to distance himself from the shame that Deebo, his father, brought on his family after using super pots in f2p deathmatches. He also plans on being the first member of his family to pk in full rune one day.

There is Crispy Moss, who while a good enough crispy guy, had to be momentarily detained by the Crispy Mods after he kept reporting that Crispy Nyx and Crispy Queeny where coming to his Crispy house.

There is Crispy Mel, who helpfully informed new players about CrispyMod Island and how they need to remain permanently logged in, in order to travel to the ultra-exclusive CrispyMod Island, which only opens once a month for 13 seconds.

There is Crispy Syn, who had to be put down after he began frothing at the mouth and mumbling “Can Crispy Syn get a hotspot invite brother?” continuously and uncontrollably, even when the server was down.

There is Crispy W E S and Crispy Nyx, who had to be separated and kept 100 ft away from each other on Crispy Island because of tension. Unconfirmed reports indicate that many of the CrispyMods suspected it was sexual tension.

There is Crispyhumans, who is a wonderfully generous guy and there are unconfirmed reports that he is the best pk, however, no one has seen him pk on a flats account. Ever.

There is Crispy Ron, who once suffered from a chronic addiction to the dreaded Zamorak pot, but after locking himself into the rooms of The Castle, has now fully rehabilitated. After his struggles, Crispy Ron established The Castle as a hotspot in order to help other recovering Zamorak addicts.

There is Crispy Don, who unfortunately couldn’t be reached for comment as he is building his Crispy Army of flats.

There is Crispyjony15, the sole survivor of the Crispy Ban of June 2019. He looks so sad without his other Crispy companions.

There is Crispy Goose, who taught everything Crispy Prox everything he knows about survival.

There is Crispy T, who just wants to get 99 slayer like his father. (btw where did Mr. T’s statue go? It disappeared faster than Dean’s party hat set).

There is Crispy Kossu, who despite playing Crispy RS for two decades, still spends more time begging for supplies than the 20 minutes it takes to farm them.

Crispy Jluv actually prepared his own statement and had this to say: “       “. Unfortunately, the CrispyMods muted him for the 300th time before he was able to make his speech.

Lastly, there is Crispy Oprah, who was probably the first one banned, following in his father’s footsteps.

Please reconsider your ban on my Crispy disciples. Show them mercy. Show them that you are a kind deity, and a more sober one, than the one that they are used to.

Amen.

Crispy God.